A bit much

I think there’s probably a limit to how much one can write in one day. I believe I found my limit today, sometime around noon. And yet here I am, at 8:26 p.m., tap tap tapping away on this keyboard. 

Today it all feels like a bit too much. The quick glimmers of hope that crash, then burn, then burn some more. The effort and toil put into something that, at the end of my life, is so not going to flash before my eyes of anything of meaning, or anything of value. 

The reminders that I was right. That people don’t change. That I said yes when I should have said no, that I said yes out of ego, that I said yes out of fear, that I said yes because someone else thought I ought to try it out, that I said yes and now I gotta see it through.

That I said yes and that I might fail. 

Yes, it’s all a bit much.