A note I sent to my mindfulness students this morning
I woke up this morning feeling unusually anxious. Worried about the day, about the week, about this life and how I'll get through it (maybe you can relate!).
On my morning walk, which I normally enjoy, I noticed that I kept checking my phone. I'd placed it in a zippered pocket, and I must have zipped and unzipped it four times in the first five minutes of my walk. After noticing it, I realized it's a way I manage anxiety. Distracting myself with notifications and apps and all the things.
Then I remembered some advice I overheard yesterday. A trusted friend gave someone I love a practice for managing worry. She said a healthy way to move through it is to notice something specific about your surroundings. Things she had never noticed before. My friend's example was walking through a long, crowded hallway. When my loved one noticed anxious thoughts that made her feel as if she'd never reach her destination, to try noticing Blue Things. Everything between her and the destination that happened to be blue.
I was like, WHOA! THAT'S MINDFULNESS!
After my fifth time removing my phone from my zippered pocket, I decided to give it a try.
It's an unusually gray morning here in Colorado, but I found plenty of things that were blue.
The usual stuff -- houses, cars, flower pots. Stuff I'd never noticed to be blue: the Subaru logo, a baby swing, home security signs. Stuff I'd walk right past: a candy wrapper, the top of a sprinkler spigot, an American flag sticker on a pole.
I'm sharing because it helped. And it's an excellent example of what we learn in class. This informal way of practicing mindfulness reminds us that we can shift our perspective and focus. In class we talk about the imaginary flashlight that zooms in to notice tiny details and zooms out to notice the broad strokes. On my walk I was zooming in on details in the rocks and zooming out to see the entire horizon.
In class we focus on awareness and noticing. Not as much on the "end game" of feeling any different. But I wanted to share this as a benefit to practice.
That in the "noticing," things tend to shift.
By the time I got home, I felt less worried. I'm ready to face my day, without needing to fix anything. I have let go of the anxious thoughts that swirled about all the tomorrows).
