I get by with a little help from my friends

Next week, I am taking a journey with my daughter that once upon a time felt impossible. It’s dredging up a bunch of feelings. They run the gamut.

I’ve been especially surprised by all the fear-based thoughts coming up. It’s like there’s still a part of me that’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. My brain keeps looking for evidence of the next major hardship. It’s been making up stories of catastrophe. I do my best to observe the doomsday narrator but I’ve found myself descending into worry a time or two or seven (who is counting, not me, okay-yes-me).

Tonight is the first night I’ve let myself feel excited. And proud that I’ve come so far. I have a dear friend who I often credit for supporting me on this journey — and boy, has she ever! Tonight I realized that she also witnessed it. She saw the amount of change and discipline that was required. And she reminds me of this. This woman blessed me with a “hand up” more times than I can count— and a shoulder to cry on when it all got to be too much. Lordy Lordy there were many times when it just felt like too much.

I know she’d be mad if I said I couldn’t have done this all without her, even thought it doesn’t feel like an exaggeration to say so. Of course I’d have found my way. But my angels must love me because they sent me one of their own to play with me here on earth. The light she brought during a dark-ass time in my journey helped me stay true to my own light.

But enough about her — let’s keep this microphone focused on ME. 🎤😉⬇️

Below is a throwback pic of ME from 2019, the year I started over in earnest. Don’t let that huge smile fool ya. That girl is scared out of her mind. But she’s also starting to think in the language of possibility for the first time in a very long time. And shifting into that mindset and energy makes all the difference.

As does having a friend like S who witnesses it all.