Earth Day Confession

I need to be real with myself about the amount of life I’m spending staring at my mobile phone.

Observing the habits I have with my phone makes me feel a little sick – how absent from conscious decision-making I become the moment I unlock my home screen. Time passes with so little awareness. Truly, it’s like I enter another dimension. It actually scares me.

Last night I watched this clip of CNN storyteller Bill Weir. He spent two weeks away from his iPhone. During that time, he had his brains scanned, started using a Dumb phone, locked away the iPhone – and at the end, declared that the experience had reset his habits, saying something to the effect of, “I feel like I’m using it again instead of it using me.”

Yikes.

I’ve taken extended social media breaks. I think my last one was 90 days. But I’m not sure it’s just social media that sucks me in. It’s all of it. The texts, the photos, the music, the emails, the games.

Take just now. I’m finished working for the day. Outside, it’s unseasonably warm but oh-so-lovely with the afternoon sun casting dappled shadows made by new green leaves through my window. The breeze beckons. I long to feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair. My feet wish to touch grass.

And yet, here I am. Laying on the couch. Scrolling through vacation photos. Looking for pics to post for Earth Day.

That grounded, relaxed, calm, and peaceful feeling I love the most is found most easily in two places. 1) Outside in nature; and 2) Connecting with people and experiences that make me forget to look at my phone.

I need to make some different choices. For myself, for my teen. For my future, cuz I’m certain I won’t think on my death bed, damn I wish I’d watched more TikToks.

Stay tuned. This dumb phone option is looking pretty hot right now. While I’d rather not spend money on tech designed to overcome my lack of self control, this could do the trick.